When does she stop dreaming?

I have a friend who calls me once in a fortnight to talk about her toxic relationship that is keeping peace away from her life almost all the time.

Another friend texts me often about how she is sure of what she wants to do in life but doesn't have the financial security to pursue what she wants to become.

This girl, whom I acquainted with in the recent past, is not too open about what her aim in life is. I don't see her talking about her dreams. She is happy and content with pushing each day of life as it goes.

I know someone who dreams a lot everyday, has aspirations, is really capable of achieving them and yet tries to find a reason to compromise on all of them.

This friend keeps talking to me about how she gave up a valuable career to move into a different city with her husband and is now baby-sitting her child without any career plans.

Do I have only negative, complaining and sacrificing women in my life as friends?

No. These are all capable women. Their hearts are full of dreams for themselves. Some part of their hearts is always yearning for that independence and freedom to think and do what they want to do. What is stopping them?

The people around them? Or the woman's apprehension to violate the expectations of the people around them?

Lack of money? Or her fear to not spend more than what she 'has to' spend after she has her own family?

Her lack of freedom to move into a city where she can find a strong career for herself just because her husband cannot move in along with her? Because she has always been told that 'Sita's Ayodhya is always where Rama lives'.

Is it marriage that forces her to give up those tiny yet powerful dreams she dreamt as a teen? If you are a woman, think for a second if you have completely fulfilled that teenage dream you had. Did you? Wonderful ! No? Think why. Think if you can start again now.

Is it her low self-esteem which urges her to always compare herself with others who are doing better? Can she really put off that thought which is beating her down and think about all that she had achieved when she was younger?

The fact is a woman never stops dreaming. Perhaps at some point she stops dreaming 'for herself'. She modifies her dreams to suit people who walk into her lives. Why must she always face this emotional dilemma of choosing between dreaming for herself and dreaming for others? Can't both of these go hand in hand?

Who will remind her of the real strength and confidence that is buried in her deep down waiting to be tapped back again? Does she need another friend to help her do that? Does she need a figure of support, a companion who will keep motivating her to fuel her dreams back into action? Is she constantly looking for someone to do it for her?

She doesn't actually need someone to remind her that she is enough for herself. She can take control of her own independence and strength to rise above all the odds and challenges that are pulling her down. People's expectations don't matter to the level that she is worried about. Be assertive, woman. You can be a role model too. Today, you might feel unworthy. Today, you might be nothing but that doesn't mean you need to continue being the same.

Create an imagination in your head about what the best version of you will look like. How do you feel when you are imagining that? How long will it take for you to reach there? What do you need to do to be there? What is stopping you from that dream? Why did you stop dreaming? How would your life look like if you had your own self-identity? Then, would you have to struggle so much to create happiness for yourself as you do today?

The answers are waiting to be discovered. You have them though.